I realized recently that my kids may actually hear some of the things I say to them, since they have been repeating the most odd things.When I asked Emily to put on some clothes and brush her teeth, she said "Gosh! I only have two hands! I am moving as fast as I can. I wish I had four hands, but I only have TWO!" This sentiment is expressed by me on a daily basis, usually at dinner time as Jesse and I race around refilling sippy cups, picking dropped utensils up off the floor, and breaking bickering siblings up.
Kaylee told Presley that if she ate raisins before bedtime, they would get stuck in her teeth (true) and cause her teeth to get rotten (also true) and then she would wake up in the morning and DIE. Oops. Guess I have been a little too heavy handed with my dire warnings about what will happen to them if they go near the pool or out in the street without us.
OK, couple of parenting quandries... need advice!
I am beyond frustrated with Kaylee. The girl has selective attention span. Put her down in front of the TV and she can sit for hours (um... not that I have actually done that). But ask her to clean her room and she can focus for about 1 second. This is a typical conversation.
Me: Kaylee, pick up your room
K: BUT! BUT! I need someone to HELP ME.
Me: No you don't. You are almost five. Clean your room.
K: But I need someone to help me!
Me :(thinking "clean your room" must be too abstract a concept) Kaylee, pick all the shoes up and put them in the basket.
K: Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Me: Kaylee, pick the shoes up and put them in the basket.
K: Uhhh! Uhhh! (blank stare)
Me: (OK, maybe looking at three pairs of shoes is overwhelming. Break the task down even further). Kaylee. Pick the red pair of shoes up. Put them in the basket.
K: But I CAN'T!
Me: Kaylee! Pick the red pair of shoes up!
K: Uhhhh, but I need someone to help me!
Me; KAYLEE!!!!!! PICK YOUR DAMN SHOES UP!! PUT THEM IN THE BASKET!
So this is the point I often find myself at. So frustrated with her, I end up losing my cool and yelling at her. Jesse said she is about as ADHD as they come (although she hasn't been formally tested, he diagnoses these things).
HELP PLEASE... how can I communicate better with her? I DID find that removing her from the situation for a minute and letting her regain her focus seems to help a teeny tiny bit. I just need to remember that before I lose it.
Oh and little Ms. Emily has been quite the sneak lately. Found her sneaking mommy's special treat (chocolate covered pretzels) underneath her pillow and eating them at night. Then she hid Presley's puppy (THE puppy, the one Presley can't sleep without) and she let us tear the house up looking for it, while it also rested under her pillow. And the worst thing yet- I busted her blatantly stealing a shirt from a friend's house. It was no accident, she hid as we were leaving our friend's house and put the shirt on underneath her own shirt. ARGH! I was so disappointed in her!! Punishment included returning the shirt with a tearful and embarrassed apology, and several lectures from me, Jesse AND my mom about how thieves end up in jail and don't get invited to anyone's house ever again. Maybe it was a little harsh, but that better be the last time I catch her stealing.
Does anyone else pray that their kids will just turn out normal? Our families have their fair share of black sheep and I feel like the odds are against my kids sometimes. Please God, just let them turn out normal. That's all I want. Normal.
Enough rambling. Some recent pix:
Below is a classic Emily outfit. Lots of layers, lots of patterns, and lots of mismatched colors.
And some random pix of Presley.
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Ahhhhhh, I was coming to your blog to yell at you for not having a new post. And to my surprise...followed by excitement I realized you updated, you finally updated!!! YAY. Ok, that was overly dramatic, but like everyone else I love reading your blog. Sorry, no advise my kid is not there yet!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is we are going through the exact same thing you are. I too get very upset because they lose their focus. Mine end up going to the naughty corner because they aren't helping and it is always a "you can't go to gymnastics or ride your go-cart" or whatever it is they want at that very moment UNLESS YOU CLEAN! I sometimes start the timer and give them 30 min. I tell them if it is not done in 30 minutes they can't have what it is they want. If you can enforce it; it is the only thing I have found that works. Always harder said than done though...
ReplyDeleteIt gets better. Lindsey ALWAYS requested help picking up because it was "too hard". But now we only have to ask her once, and she runs off and does it without a moment's hesitation. Of course we have to go admire what a good job she did. She will even take the duster and dust some furniture for us. I can't wait until she can push the vaccuum. As far as just hoping they turn out normal, I think that's all we can hope for. And you and Jesse have more to do with shaping their futures than the genetics of the family's black sheep. That's my hope anyways, or else Lindsey is S-C-R-E-W-E-D!
ReplyDeleteAaaah - we are going through the SAME THING! T can sit forever and focus on something he's interested in but anything else is too hard - from putting on his shoes to cleaning up to finishing his broccoli. I have a timer I set out for dinner, washing hands, etc. and he can see the little hand count down so he knows when things are getting close. That seems to help. For clean up, I tell him once and then I start cleaning up. Anything I pick up goes on "vacation" for a little while. (I tell him YOU CAN PICK UP OR I CAN PICK UP!) I'm usually pretty mad by this point and he moves really quickly. I only have to actually put a few toys away about once a month! But it's hard to enforce when I do because I feel so MEAN! GOOD LUCK!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can also relate to the clean up conversation. I have that EXACT same discussion with Micah nightly. Only when I start to lose my cool he says, "Ooooo-kay Mommy, Easy, Easy" as he pushes his hand towards me. It's pretty hysterical actually. The only thing that works for Micah is making it a game, probably a guy thing. Any kind of race is good time for Micah.
ReplyDeleteOh and I love your new collage on the blog. How did you do it??? Too cute.
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ReplyDeleteOK, so I am a novice in the kids world, but I remember my mom used to give me a deadline by which to clean my room and then anything that wasn't put away she put in a big black trash bag and i had to BUY IT BACK - about $0.25 each or something. Now, this worked the first time, but the second time I just bought back a couple of thigns I really wanted and told her she could keep the rest. this was high school, but it's an idea. i guess it probably coems down to figuring out what coping strategies she needs (and you need so you don't go to jail:) ) and then doing your best to create those conditions regularly. I know you and Jesse are amazing parents and I know if anyone's kids have a chance at being "normal" (whatever that means :) ) it will be yours. You love them and discipline them and laugh with them and do the best you can and that's all any of us can be expected to do.
ReplyDeleteanyway, i have no experience in this area of 5 year old difficulties, but you and i both know it takes repetition and patience and time - something no one has a lot of. and sometimes, it's OK to see mom or dad get mad. that's what happens in the real world too. :) love you lots girl! - belle
I have a couple of gems that have worked miracles with Robbie:
ReplyDelete1. Concerta
2. Vyvansse
Just ask Jesse what Robbie's teachers say about him THESE days... They look at me like I'm weird for expecting a bad report about him. :)
You guys are amazing parents and your kids are amazing! Don't worry they won't be any more screwed up than the rest of ours!!! What kid doesn't steal a bit- hey you gotta learn what happens if you do somehow don't ya? Ellie doesn't steal the candy she just opens it up and tries to lick and eat it in line at the grocery store! Can't tell you how many candy bars I have had to buy lately!! Lucky for me since I get to eat them!!! Ellie is all about sneaking candy into her room and eating it in private so I don't find out- she must get it from me hiding in the pantry eating my M&Ms. I am glad to hear we are not the only ones going through some of these things. Hang in there!!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO about the chocolate covered pretzels. I can't blame her!
ReplyDeleteI am SO glad to hear that you get frustrated just like I do. I have those same conversations with Abbey (like you have with Kaylee) every. single. day. Then I feel bad for losing my temper, but damn!! Pick up the shoes!
P.S. It says Scott, but it's really me. I'm too lazy to log off.
Be careful what you wish for! Normal is so boring ;)
ReplyDeleteHey, look at my family- we have some pretty funny stories to tell (ie:one sister playing with and eating her poop, another sister getting button stuck in her ear, one being rushed to the er bc she stuck peas in her nose - oh wait, I think that was me...) Anyway, I could go on and on...but we all turned out pretty normal I think (Praise God). Ya'll are such great parents!!!! All you can do is the best you can, have faith and count your blessings every day.
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