The Kroger Experience

So, a typical trip to the grocery store with all the kids is generally a very painful endeavor. Usually we experience a minimum of one tantrum due to 1) kids not getting whatever sugary garbage they spot on the shelf, 2) kids pushing one of the two carts we have into another shopper and getting reprimanded for it, 3) kids fighting over who gets to "drive" the cart with the built in car, or 4) kids whining that they are hungry/thirsty/tired/bored (this is usually after we have fed and entertained them right up to the grocery store trip).

Yesterday's experience was particularly painful. At any given time, there were at least two crying (loud, gusty, "I want out of HERE RIGHT NOW" cries). Kaylee told me she had to use the potty (this NEVER EVER fails to happen when I have a full cart of groceries and am the opposite end of the store from the restrooms). Since she just got totally pottytrained (YIPEEEEEEEE!), I certainly couldn't tell her to hold it.

So Jesse takes Jude and I rush Kaylee, Emily and Presley through the store to the potty. I instruct Kaylee to go in as I run back and forth between my cart (that still has Presley in it) to the potty. Presley is throwing a fit because she wants to go in and potty, so I am trying to get her out from underneath the avalanche of groceries she has piled on top of herself.

Lo and behold, here comes Kaylee running out of the potty into the store, WITH HER DRESS PULLED UP and NO PANTIES ON yelling

"MOMMY, I PEED ON THE POTTY!!!"

I, of course, hit panic mode and rush her back into the bathroom. I instruct her to put her panties back on and I run back out to Presley, who has now told me she has to pee on the potty. I finally wrestle Presley out of the cart and go back into the restroom. Kaylee is SITTING ON THE DIRTY FLOOR trying to get panties back on.

OK GROSS. Good thing I learned yesterday that you it is a medical myth that you can catch an STD from a public restroom. So now I take Presley into the next stall and notice someone had already doctored up the toilet seat with toilet paper, so I just put a new paper seat cover over what was already on the toilet (I'm in a hurry OK?). Perfectly reasonable right? Presley potties and I go out to the sink area to help Kaylee wash her hands (she has squirted about a pound of soap onto the floor by now) and then notice Presley has gotten herself off of the potty and has her hands all over the toilet seat, the paper cover and the paper that was there before us (that someone sat their dirty self on). EWWW.

Oh, did I mention that three out of four of my kids were also barefoot?

Yes, we were THAT family you see in the store and think "White Trash."

In other news, we busted Jude jumping off the roof into the pool! He was having a great time, and we were certainly impressed by his acrobatic skills, but we had to tell him it just wasn't allowed.